The Person Who Believed In Abe

My name is Abe Jacob, and I want to share a story about someone who helped me believe in myself, even before he realized it.

I grew up in rural Northwest Ohio with a strong sense of community and an early passion for public service. But privately, I struggled with something that felt much harder to reconcile with the life I hoped to live. Like many, I worried that being gay was something that would completely define me in ways that would overshadow everything else I hoped to contribute to the world. Though I was born athletically challenged, I tried to master maneuvering around any perception that might lead someone to discover my secret. Throughout college and into adulthood, I immersed myself in my professional aspirations and often found myself mentally exhausted from worry, while seeing so many of my friends find happiness with their respective significant others.

In 2012, I was a legislative aide in the Ohio House and learned that there was a man running for a seat, and he happened to be gay. His name was Tim Brown, a County Commissioner and a longtime public servant in a town less than an hour from my hometown. I recall pausing to comprehend that there was potential history about to be made in Ohio, yet mindful that whatever joy I felt at the possibility needed to be restrained in front of my peers.

That November, Tim achieved success by becoming the first openly gay man from either party to serve in the Ohio General Assembly. Hearing the news meant more to me than I could express at the time. Seeing someone from my own region stand confidently made me realize that living authentically didn’t have to limit the life I wanted.

On New Year’s Day, just a few days before Tim was sworn into office, I found the courage to come out. Something in my heart told me it was my time. Even though I had never met him and didn’t know much about his life, the confidence I gained from Tim’s election was enough for me to share my truth.

A short time later, I was assigned to work for my home district, and during that process, I realized that Tim’s office was right next to mine. We would pass each other in the hallway and say hello, but he didn’t know that his example had already changed my life.

A few months after he took office, I invited Tim to coffee and shared my story with him. Just watching him lead with authenticity had helped me find the courage to live my own truth. That conversation grew into a mentorship that still shapes who I am today.

Tim helped me understand something I hadn’t realized before by showing how being gay is just one part of who I am. It doesn’t define my whole identity. Through his example of strength and kindness, he showed me how to live authentically while still following my passion for public service and community involvement.

Years later, when Tim gave his farewell address to the legislature, his colleagues spoke about the wider impact he had. Then-Speaker Cliff Rosenberger described him as someone who created a ripple far beyond himself, saying, “You are a bridge that spans a tide… you are that pebble that’s been dropped in the pond and has created a ripple, and that ripple is for the good.”

For me, that ripple touched my life in a very personal way.

In his own farewell remarks to the legislature, Tim reflected on the promise of equality in America, saying that while the founders could never have imagined their words would one day be used to affirm equality across gender, race, and sexual orientation, the Constitution’s enduring strength is that it allows the country to grow toward that promise.

Those words show the same quiet leadership I saw in him years before.

Today, I am active in my community, working in government affairs and civic engagement. I feel a strong sense of purpose in helping build communities where people feel they belong.

When I got engaged to my now-husband, there was only one person I wanted to officiate our wedding. Tim was the one person whose example gave me the courage to live authentically would now help guide me into the next chapter of my life. He accepted with joy, and standing there as he married us felt like a full-circle moment I will never forget.

Tim probably never meant to change someone’s life just by being himself. But he did.

He is the person who helped me believe I could live fully, serve my community, and be proud of every part of who I am. Even now, he challenges me to continue to be a voice of purpose and contribution to those around me because he knows that encouraging the next generation is the only way we can develop our future centered on hard work, diligence, and compassion for those different from us.

Thank you for celebrating stories like this.

Warmly, Abe